October 4, 2015
Homily
- When preparing for this homily, I assumed that I would reflect on the moral problem of ivorce which is so high and climbing in Western societies.
- Who does not know a marriage breakdown: in the family or among our friends and relatives. (My own sister is twice divorced and my brother once, and from a Catholic home?)
- Even the Pope set aside his text at the World Meeting of families to reflect on the difficulties of marriage today.
- “Christians are not immune to the changes of their times.”
- It is a society which discards what is no longer ‘useful’ or ‘satisfying’; including relationships.
- And this is a problem for the Church which holds a strict teaching, especially about divorce and remarriage. (some would say too strict; some even outmoded.)
- But maybe it is not so much a problem of divorce as of loneliness and our inability to understand the depth of our own loneliness (in a world which constantly distracts us from this existential condition that you and I live in)
- When I was at school we sang:
- Man is lonely by birth; he is only a pilgrim on earth; born to be free; life is but a temporary thing; yes, only a pilgrim on earth.
- Our essential loneliness is reflected in today’s readings.
- God makes us companions and friends and creation gives us the desire to be together, so that we might be happy and fulfilled.
- But when relationships do not work out, as we expect, we can think that we need to blame our partner.
- While there may be real reasons for this, we often neglect to understand that our loneliness, which is sometimes a deep emptiness, is never completely overcome on earth.
- In the Gospel, Jesus is quick to warn us against dismissing our partner and go looking for another.
- This is not because he does not understand our difficulties but that He knows how easy to blame the other, including their sometimes obvious shortcomings, and miss the nagging presence of our feelings of loneliness and restlessness.
- The Gospel is, in fact, an expression of compassion for us, not harness towards us.
- In the Book of Genesis, God gives us a partner, someone close, from our very same being.
- They are called to union with one another; to deep intimacy that follows friendship; to be the source of happiness to one another.
- This is what we Christians call marriage and it is for life.
- It is a choice that welcomes the partner as a gift to be accepted and not a prize to be grasped.
- The reading from Hebrews, which seems unrelated, is about sacrifice. It is a sacrifice which brings people closer not further apart.
- That seems to be the spirit necessary for any relationship, including marriage. It is both a joy and a sacrifice.
- Indeed, marriage only seems to work where that spirit of sacrifice exists. Its unfair to let young people marry without reminding them of this necessary ingredient to love. Perhaps it would be necessary to keep them in a longer period of catechesis before marriage?
- Love is certainly romance but not all romance is love. Without sacrifice love would be lucky to survive.
- And this applies to sexual love too. Sex is a gift and not a licence. Without respect this cannot be appreciated and understood.
- At a meeting of adults recently I was listening to a list of their problems and complaints.
- Loneliness was at the heart of their dissatisfaction.
- I could only respond that some problems are lightened by the presence of supportive friends; some by time for quiet prayer and most by the presence of God in eternity.
- Relationships are not easy but, the God of love, who makes us partners and gifts us with special friends, we call spouses, knows that the deepest desire is to be more than we are.
- We strive always for more than we are; what a pity, with such a great gift in our life, we would try and short-cut our way to the fullness of life and spoil the life of others in the process.
- Let us make every effort to be faithful to each other; make the sacrifices necessary and together discover our soul’s desire.
- Should that ideal not be possible, then ensure that we have the support of family and friends and a Church community to help us resolve the dilemma through understanding and mercy.